Library Juice 1:19 - May 20, 1998
Contents: 1. Censored Literature Website 2. Paris, May-June 1968 3. Website for the celebration of the 150th anniv. of women's rights 4. American Libraries Online news stories for May 18 (ad) 5. Document Experience System: USAID's Institutional Memory 6. Education Review: A Journal of Book Reviews 7. Gay and Lesbian Abstracts on CD-ROM 8. REFORMA Librarian of the year - Ramiro Salazar 9. The Spire Project - Research Strategy and Resource Guidance (www) 10. Are Unintended Consequences Really Unintended? 11. Virtual Working Group on IT, Jobs, and Work (International) 12. Letter from Mark Rosenzweig on Bill Gates' honorary ALA membership 13. Listserv Debate following the above letter 14. MICROSOFT TESTS NUCLEAR DEVICE AT SECRET HANFORD FACILITY Quote of the week: "Information can tell us everything. It has all the answers. But they are answers to questions we have not asked, and which doubtless don't even arise." - Jean BAUDRILLARD __________________________________________________________________________ 1. Censored Literature Website HACKENSACK, NJ - The Digital Freedom Network (DFN), an international partnership founded to fight censorship and protect human rights was launched on May 5. The site, located at http://www.dfn.org , will publish banned literature and banned news reports from around the world. According to DFN, they will be publishing material from organizations such as the Committee to Protect Journalists, Index on Censorship, Reporters sans Frontieres and Network for the Defense of Independent Media in Africa. The site currently features speeches, newspaper articles, essays, poetry and letters written from prison by Bao Ge of China; Koigi wa Wamwere of Kenya; Salima Ghezali, editor of weekly French-language LA NATION in Algeria; Pius Njawe, editor of independent newspaper LE MESSAGER in Cameroon; and independent CUBA PRESS news agency head Raul Rivero. For more information about DFN, contact Bobson Wong, Executive Director, at: tel: 201-928-4378 Fax: 201-907-5165 Email: bwong[at]corp.idt.net [From the LaBOR aRT & MuRAL PRoJECT - http://www.igc.apc.org/laborart ] __________________________________________________________________________ 2. Paris, May-June 1968 30 years ago this month Europe saw, perhaps, the most serious threat to government in an industrially advanced society. Paris was the focal point and we have started a collection of some of our documents (an example follows) relating to the events of that year at: <http://www.tao.ca/~freedom/1968> Further details will also be given on our mailing list: <majordomo[at]tao.ca> subscribe fpi From: "esperanto" <lingvoj[at]mailhost.lds.co.uk> [From the LaBOR aRT & MuRAL PRoJECT - http://www.igc.apc.org/laborart ] __________________________________________________________________________ 3. Website for the celebration of the 150th anniv. of women's rights. http://www.legacy98.org/ Sponsored by the National Women's History Project. __________________________________________________________________________ 4. American Libraries Online news stories for May 18 (ad) News stories appearing in the May 18 American Libraries Online <http://www.ala.org/alonline/> * Atlanta Director Resigns Amid Struggle with Library Board * Editor Gerhardt Announces Retirement * House Committee Prohibits Closure of Military Libraries * FCC Combines Universal-Service Agencies * Boston's Birthday Bash Raises $1 Million for Library * Postal Rate Commission Asks for Modest Library-Rate Increase * Tulsa Libraries Win Bigtime in Funding Vote * *No Impact* from Merger, Ameritech Library Services Assures Customers * ALA Executive Board Calls for Summit on Library Education * Seattle Mayor Wavers on Library Budget * Librarian Featured at Senate Forum on Internet Filtering * Britain to Build National Library for Women American Libraries' Web site also features the latest "Internet Librarian" columns by Karen Schneider; AL's "Career Leads" job ads; listings of conferences, continuing-education courses, exhibitions, and other events from AL's "Datebook"; and Tables of Contents for the current year. __________________________________________________________________________ 5. Document Experience System: USAID's Institutional Memory http://www.info.usaid.gov/pubs/dexs.html The US Agency for International Development's Development Experience Clearinghouse has recently made its Document Experience System (DEXS) available via the web. DEXS "is a family of bibliographic databases that contains records for about 100,000 Agency technical and program documents" from 1942 to the present. The database is split into two parts, 1942-86, and 1987-present. Information can be searched on any of ten variables or browsed. Retrieval includes basic bibliographic information, and may also include media, pricing, and ordering information. Of the total number of records in this staggering database, over 96,000 are available in microfiche for on-demand reproduction. [JS] >From The Scout Report: http://scout.cs.wisc.edu/scout/report/ __________________________________________________________________________ 6. Education Review: A Journal of Book Reviews http://www.ed.asu.edu/edrev/index.html Education Review is an electronic journal of book reviews in education that is provided by the Colleges of Education of the Universities of Arizona and Illinois. Reviews are indexed by title, book and review author, publication date, and subject. At present, eighteen reviews are available on books with topics ranging from instruction to history to evaluation. A mailing list is available for those who wish to receive announcements of new reviews. As the site grows, it has the potential to become an extremely valuable repository of information about new books in education. [JS] >From The Scout Report: http://scout.cs.wisc.edu/scout/report/ __________________________________________________________________________ 7. Gay and Lesbian Abstracts on CD-ROM (Note - this is not an endorsement. There has been some talk about criticism of this product regarding its coverage.) Gay and Lesbian Abstracts on CD-ROM ** NEW! ** Available Spring 1998 For a comprehensive and up-to-date overview of the political, cultural, and social news of concern to the gay and lesbian community, we invite you to try Gay & Lesbian Abstracts. Editorial Mission Gay & Lesbian Abstracts offers a balanced, objective, and thorough review of popular as well as scholarly print, electronic, and Internet publications of interest to the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered community. Of paramount importance is the promotion of acceptance and understanding with regard to the history, culture, interests, and concerns of the GLBT community. Gay & Lesbian Abstracts is an excellent guide to the ongoing intellectual and scholarly discussion of subjects which reflect the diversity of the GLBT community. Gay & Lesbian Abstracts primarily indexes publications addressing the social, legal, economic, political, cultural, historical, literary, and health concerns of the GLBT community, including coverage of sexual activity between consenting adults; other subject areas are covered peripherally. Gay & Lesbian Abstracts indexes a variety of materials including non-fiction, reviews, and essays - excluding only fiction and erotica. Nearly 600 sources include: journals, magazines, newspapers, newsletters, bulletins, books, proceedings, reports, dissertations, studies, the Internet, and multi-media publications. Gay & Lesbian Abstracts is an electronic publication with quarterly updates on CD-ROM. For more information please email: info[at]nisc.com Annual Subscription rates: US$345 individual and institutional subscriber rate (call for LAN rates). __________________________________________________________________________ 8. REFORMA Librarian of the year - Ramiro Salazar Sent to the EQUILIBR list: The Librarian of the Year Award Committee is proud to announce the name of the 1998 REFORMA Librarian of the Year Award winner. Please join us in congratulating--- R A M I R O S A L A Z A R As the first Latino to head the Dallas Public Library, Ramiro has created a library system that is a model for all other public libraries. He is dedicated to bringing library services to the youth of his community and he has given tremendous mentoring support to many Reformistas, thus greatly strengthening our organization. He also strengthened it by guiding the establishment of the Rio Trinidad chapter of REFORMA. Among his many honors and accomplishments, in 1996 Ramiro was named Municipal Library Director of the Year by the Texas Municipal Library Directors Association. Ramiro avoids calling attention to his accomplishments but he has been working steadfastly for REFORMA for many years and has helped make the organization what it is today. It is time that he receive our highest recognition for this dedication. Ramiro will formally receive his award at the REFORMA Scholarship Fundraiser at ALA Annual in Washington, D.C. on Monday, June 29, 7:30-10:00 p.m. Watch for announcements of the location. Also watch for a full press release and an article in the REFORMA Newsletter. The Librarian of the Year Award, which consists of a plaque and a check for $400.00, will be presented by Ninfa Trejo of Hispanic Books Distributors, Inc. of Tucson, Arizona. Come to the fundraiser and help us celebrate Ramiro's award! Lily Castillo-Speed, on behalf of the National REFORMA Librarian of the Year Award Committee __________________________________________________________________________ 9. The Spire Project - Research Strategy and Resource Guildance (www) Subject: Research Strategy Guides X-Comment: Web4Lib Information - http://sunsite.berkeley.edu/Web4Lib/ An emerging opportunity in collection development is linking to research collections on the net. See the Farmington Community Library Ready Reference http://metronet.lib.mi.us/fcl/readyref.html as an example. Here is a description of our project, The Spire Project... Research Strategy and Resource Guidance The Spire Project is a collection of serious research strategy guidance articles - compiled and overseen by Community Networking (Australia) but hosted at five sites, free shareware and an FAQ. Existing articles cover topics like Country Profiles, UN Resources, Statistical Bureaux, Books, Professional Research Resources, and more. Each article describes a strategy, while linking and noting the important resources available. The "Locating Books" article, for example, links to the free Government Publication Databases: MOCAT, UKOP and AGIP. The Spire Project is prepared as a .zip file ready for hosting on library websites, University department websites and workplace intranets. The process is simple and benefits your patrons with both faster access speeds and awareness to these resources. Hosting sites also benefit with the kudos for bringing such information to your patrons, as all Spire Sites are the same, and stand alone. This is an improvement on the previous Information Research FAQ & Information Research Key. Visit http://library.ccsu.ctstateu.edu/infokey or http://cn.net.au to see the result. David Novak david[at]cn.net.au Spire Project Team Incl: http://cn.net.au __________________________________________________________________________ 10. Are Unintended Consequences Really Unintended? ---------------------------------------------- If you want to get the signature of techno-utopians and Luddites on the same sheet of paper, just write across the top, "Technology can have unintended consequences". They'll rush to sign. This is the new confession promising a more sober technological advance. Of course, the most tried-and-true method for bringing antagonists into agreement is to offer them a relatively meaningless statement to agree on. My own fear is that the doctrine of unintended consequences is worse than meaningless -- it may provide cover for a continuing flight from responsibility. "What? Me? I didn't *intend* that!" If I direct some mild disparagement at my wife, and if she, having heard this sort of thing one too many times, explodes in anger, I may not have intended to provoke such an outburst with my low-key remark. I may even have felt kindly toward her at the time, so that I can honestly say I am surprised and hurt by her response. But my honesty remains shallow. I *did* provoke the outburst; it's just that I preferred not to notice the fact. We may, then -- in our current state of awareness -- be unable to predict the consequences of a particular technology. But that does not mean we bear no responsibility for the consequences, or even that, at some level, we do not intend them. You may find it hard to imagine that Henry Ford or the early automobile users *intended* urban sprawl, the breakdown of communities, and environmental devastation. Doubtless they didn't, in any fully conscious sense. Yet how many of them were so attached to the integrity of their local communities that they experienced neighborhood-splitting roads as an outrage? How many were so committed to the integrity of the natural world that every rude and unconsidered gash through the countryside was felt as an abomination? They *could* have experienced themselves as so deeply embedded in a sacred world that every polluting act was significant as a meaningful and horrifying gesture in itself. They *could* have made the automobile an opportunity to become more convincingly aware of the differences between local, fully engaged community and the more tenuous relations of community-at-a-distance. But the fact is that our culture was headed in a different direction, and we did not, for example, view the world as sacred in the way our native predecessors did. We were, with a powerful determination, closing in on our particular destiny. This destiny may have had its own important values -- I believe it did -- but this does not mean that the eventual outcomes were not the direct consequence of who we were, with all our redeeming and not-so-redeeming traits. I am not sure there is such a thing as an unintended consequence of any technology rooted in our own historical development. Except, of course, when we need excuses. One of the challenges of the technological age is that we are encouraged to think of the causes of things as lying outside ourselves, in the ubiquitous machinery that shapes our lives. This suggests that the doctrine of unintended consequences *could* be a sign of our further submission to technology rather than our mastery of it. You can only appeal to something as an excuse when you think it has enough power over you to render you helpless. But if we are instead moved by this new consensus to look more critically at our technological choices in a spirit of personal responsibility, then it will be all to the good. >From NETFUTURE #71, available at http://www.ifla.org/udt/netfuture/ __________________________________________________________________________ 11. Virtual Working Group on IT, Jobs, and Work (International) Invitation to the Virtual Working Group--ICT, Jobs and Work: A Challenge For Development http://www.globalknowledge.org/english/virtual/ict-jobs/mailing_list.html The World Bank, the International Labour Organization, and other groups, as a follow-up to their 1997 Global Knowledge Conference, are sponsoring a "Virtual Working Group," which aims to examine the impact of information and communication technology (ICT) on jobs and work, with a particular focus on the challenges for developing countries. The VLG will meet from May 18 to July 3 1998, in two phases. The first phase comprises a panel discussion (May 18 to June 5), chaired by ILO's Institute for Labour Studies (IILS) and Enterprise Department. In this first phase, around 30 panelists from government, trade unions, employer's organizations, companies, nongovernmental organizations (NGOs) and academia will discuss four key themes: ICT and jobs; ICT and work; ICT and enterprise; and ICT, development and governance. During the second phase of the Working Group (June 8 to July 3), the discussion will be opened to a wider audience; people in this audience will be asked to raise questions and present their own points of view. The second phase will be moderated by the ILO in collaboration with Education Development Center (EDC), a nonprofit organization. More information can be found at the above URL. [JS] To subscribe: send email to: MAJORDOMO[at]MAIL.EDC.ORG In the body of the message type: SUBSCRIBE ICT-JOBS >From The Scout Report: http://scout.cs.wisc.edu/scout/report/ __________________________________________________________________________ 12. Letter from Mark Rosenzweig on Bill Gates' honorary ALA membership (Sent to ALA's member-forum list, SRRT's list, and the ALA Council list) Dear fellow Councilors: Contrite as I am for offending some of my colleagues with my, shall we say, bluntness, not so long ago on a different matter, I will try to put this as nicely as I can and not offend anyone personally. I feel I must say something about this Microsoft matter however. 20 state Attornies General have yesterday joined the Federal Government in legal action against Bill Gates' Microsoft Corporation. Mirosoft is accused of unfair business practices and violations of anti-trust laws. Mr Gates feigns a complete lack of understanding of the basis of the legal tidal wave of opinion against his corporate practices and refuses to seek any comporomise. He is, it seems,intent on showing he is more powerful -at least in his own estimation- than any government, and feels he has little to fear by defying these concerns. At last year's annual conference I suggested that Mr Gates was buying a lot of public relations at cut rate with his Gates Library Foundation, whose opratiopns also advances in practice his monopolistic agenda, the source of the Government's concern. We have, in buying into the GLF in the way in which we did, become accomplices in Gates' cause , partisans for a monopoistic business scheme which the laws of the land find highly dubious and, in fact , most likely illegal. Consumer rights advocates acrosss the nation are warning of the longterm negtive effects for the consumer, the culuture, the community, and for the Amerucan economy s a whole In the ,meantime we are preparing in ALA to literally lioninize a man who i about to come under ferderal indictment for brazen conntempty of the laws of the land in puirsuit of wmore wealth and power.Our supportin ALAL is a public relations coup for him which a great deal more money couldn't have =been able to engineer. Wewill ne the front for Gates, the pimp for his monopolitic schemes. He has a lot to gain at little cost. We have our reputations on the line. Isn't it time to recnsider giving Gate's honorary membership?Do we really want tp appear as PARTISANS in the high stakes public relatioons battle GAtes in waging. That's just what he wants us to do, amd for chump change at that. I know how unpopulr this will be at first blush, nut I feel compelled to raise once again the probity of o close parntership with Mivrpspft under the circumstances It reflects so vadly on our ability to keep a critical eye on these new developmets and not get sucled in to the mster marlerterers scebaria for economic warefare anfainst there competitors. With great weariness and a sense of the overwhelming lack of thoughtful concern about this issue in Council. I raise once again the proposition that , given these developments, we should DIStANCE ourselves from Mr. Gates and not allow ourselves to even appear to be elements of his attempt to create an impression of public support/public opinion for his momopolistic schemes. Can we withdraw our invitation to honorary membership pending the outcome of these legal onslaughts, or do we "take sides" with Bill and let him make us a key element in his public relations presentation of his case? I say: withdraw the invitation to honorary membership, re-examine the GLF in the light of the latest Federal and State involvement in busting the Microsoft trust. Fund for America Libraries' Walter Hansen's presentations aside, I believe -- as do more and more of my colleagues -- that Gates is gettin a bargain for library/ALA support for his hegemonic plans and we are getting strings -attached arrangements to which we will be tied for a cetain period to the Mictosoft family and whateve it wants to do and wherever it wants to go,We have an obligation to maintain a certain neutrality here and to forfeit our critical judgement to (what appears to be) the highest bidder, Let's pull back and check this business out again before we find ourselves embarasingly neck deep in the World According to Bill. I hope some of you will see the wisdom in putting on the brakes at this point. NO Honarary membership for Gates until he honors the will of a people's law meant to protect consumers from the rapacity of the business class. Sincereky Mark C.Rosenzweig __________________________________________________________________________ 13. Listserv Debate following the above letter (messages to both member-forum and SRRT) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mark-- Believe it or not I agree with you on this one. The main problem is going to be getting a critical mass of members to pressure the Executive into stopping the award. Bill Gates didn't think up the GLF on his own. My guess is that it is a response to the thousand of librarians begging for computers for their libraries. He just decided that the GLF was the way to make good by doing good. Most of the libraries that received Gates money are in the poorest areas of the nation. I'm not sure how we can go about censuring him without looking like we are trying to hamper access to poor children in urban slums and the rural south. He has the resources to come out smelling like a rose on this one. It seems like time for an electronic brain storming session on this list. Our actions should be broader than just a letter to the EC, we need some public statements and press about the alternatives. Everyone seems to have forgotten that Netscape has been giving its product away free for years. Carol . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (From Suzanne Hildebrand) Mark, one strange thing about our adoration of Bill Gates is that no one mentions the COST of his gifts to us! We all know that gift books have a cost in termsof handling, processing, etc. Do computers (hardware/software) come without costs to us? Why don't we ever calculate the time it takes (away from public service, tech services, etc.) to learn these systems, set them up properly, etc. Hours and hours of personnel time are diverted from other library chores to handle these "gifts." --SH . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Karen Schneider, responding to Suzanne Hildebrand) Wait a darn second here. This suggests that automation is some ancillary service foisted on us unwillingly. How does access to networked information "take away" from public service? Why is learning a core competency, such as computer literacy, a burden to some of us? This gets back to our professional self-definition. Are we here to peddle books, or are we here to encourage lifelong learning and pleasure reading (in any format)? Where is our allegiance--to the medium, or to the people we serve? Every technology has its risks, costs, and opportunities. Books are not without their problems, as media go. (Have you ever had to chase down an overdue website? When was the last time you replaced a plastic jacket on a telnet session? Do you tattletape your browser bookmarks?) Is the Internet a perfect, even ideal information technology? Of course not. It has indeed expanded the challenge of information services dramatically. But is the Internet an important, essential technology? Indeed! It has been my suspicion all along that resistance to Bill Gates' generosity has had a strong element of resistance to new information services in the first place. (This is related to the filtering issue, too. It's really o.k. to outsource selection of digital information because after all it's just the Internet, anyway.) We as a profession have traditionally been late and frequently reluctant adopters of new information technologies, from musical recordings to the Internet. This is not to our credit. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Suzanne Hildebrand's response) I really don't knw why Karen is so exercised about my message: I pointed out the similarity between the "costs" onf gift books and IMHO, "gift" software/hardware. Perhaps I should have added that this is why some libraries have developped the fine art of rejecting those 20 yrs. worth of National Geog offered by the heirs of dear old Grandpa. Unless you can bilocate someone who is setting up or learnign a new system is NOT doing soimething else. Like, maybe working with the public or processing new acquaitions (such as software the library has selected to meet the needs of its users, etc.). No such thing as a free lunch Karen. Every gift to a library has its cost. SH . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Karen Schneider) I am exercised because Suzanne wrote, "Why don't we ever calculate the time it takes (away from public service, tech services, etc.) to learn these systems, set them up properly, etc. Hours and hours of personnel time are diverted from other library chores to handle these "gifts." If a library is getting a computer "gift," it is probably because it asked for it. If it asked for it, it fills a need. If it fills a need, it's not a diversion. That's what I was getting at. There's a difference between accepting a copy of Bleak House held together with duct tape and accepting a computer system that you *asked for* and *need.* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mark should learn to use email with Spell Check. Otherwise we won't be able understanfakfj;flk him. Second, again he is off the deep end. I don't agree with Microsoft's policies towards the DOJ, but for now we are stuck with Windows until someone develops a new OS, other than Windows. Let the courts decide this one (trust me, Microsoft will cave on the issue eventually--too much bad PR). In my book, Microsoft is in bed with the likes of RJR, American Brands, Philip Morris and Loews. Mark is talking out of both sides of his mouth---first, he blasts the government for it's stand on Iraq and then, he thinks Boy Scouts are criminals and the government ought to do something (as well as ALA), and now he looks for the DOJ to put Bill Gates in his place (and so should Mark's version of "ALA justice"). Extremists like Mark need to go and spare the rest of us. Go ahead---deny Gates honorary membership. But, don't go back in the future with your hands out when the dust settles on this one. Mark, you are terribly misguided. Louisiana public libraries could stand to lose $3.5 million in GLF funds if you had your way. We have a hard enough time getting 2 cents from the legislature as it is. All this nonsense because Mark Rosenzweig is a little outraged. Jeff Coghill . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jeff Coghill's comment about the $3.5 million in Gates Library Fund money going into Louisiana while the State Legislature stumbles over nickels and dimes is a pretty telling point. In a way, it tends to confirm at least some of Mark's worries. Perhaps what makes Bill Gates and his "empire" as dangerous as some perceive them to be is the efficiency with which it has moved in terms of getting badly needed computer hardware and software to chronically underfunded libraries in Alabama, Louisiana and elsewhere. Compare the GLF performance in terms of helping libraries to get hooked up bureaucratically entangled E-Rate mess and the $2.25 billion dollars in discounts which we may never see. -- The GLF has come through with its promises while the E-Rate program remains stalled, befuddled and under seige. Whatever his intentions, Bill Gates seems to know how to get things done. That, in itself, makes him pretty dangerous. "He makes the trains run on time." James B. Casey -- My own views as an ALA Council Member . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I was very uncomfortable with the vote for honorary membership, and in fact the record shows I voted against it. I have personal and professional concerns about the role of huge corporations controlling more and more of available information and our access to it. Nevertheless: Council voted honorary membership after appropriate debate, and I believe it was not for the development of the operating system, but rather for the gift funds. If that is true, there is now no reason to change what we have done. This is, after all, a country in which one of the basic legal principles is "innocent until proven guilty." A lawsuit filed is not a pronouncement of guilty, only a formal accusation; I respect my ALA colleagues a great deal, but I don't believe we're the jury on this one. Pamela Sieving RUSA Councilor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Before I'm cut off from postings due to being a mere Councilor-elect, I heartily support the invitation withdrawal. To so dramatically & openly honor a person who is under serious indictment for constricting economic and individual liberty is unseemly. .... On a related matter: Do libraries in effect support censorship by buying "edited" (i.e., expurgated) music discs that have been tailored to Wal-Mart acceptability? Our library--with typically no systemwide debate--has just decided to get both clean & dirty versions. Comments & documentation to counter this practice would be most welcome. Thanks!! .... Withdrawing an honorary membership that hasn't yet been bestowed is, perhaps, a "censure" of sorts, but would NOT necessarily impel or persuade any GLF fund-recipients to renounce their grants. Sandy Berman . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Perhaps we now have an opportunity to modify the basis of the Gates Library Foundation grants. What about a Council resolution that starts out noting the court challenge, and continues by stating the need for software flexibility to serve users? Al Kagan . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dear SRRT members, I have to agree with Mark on this one...I believe it would be in the best interests of ALA to withhold honorary membership until after the courts have made their decision on the business practices of Microsoft. Bonita __________________________________________________________________________ 14. MICROSOFT TESTS NUCLEAR DEVICE AT SECRET HANFORD FACILITY Date: 5/18/98 9:57 AM From: Tom Scott REDMOND (BNN)--World leaders reacted with stunned silence as Microsoft Corp. (MSFT) conducted an underground nuclear test at a secret facility in eastern Washington state. The device, exploded at 9:22 am PDT (1622 GMT/12:22 pm EDT) today, was timed to coincide with talks between Microsoft and the US Department of Justice over possible antitrust action. "Microsoft is going to defend its right to market its products by any and all necessary means," said Microsoft CEO Bill Gates. "Not that I'm anti-government" he continued, "but there would be few tears shed in the computer industry if Washington were engulfed in a bath of nuclear fire." Scientists pegged the explosion at around 100 kilotons. "I nearly dropped my latte when I saw the seismometer" explained University of Washington geophysicist Dr. Whoops Blammover, "At first I thought it was Mt. Rainier, and I was thinking, damn, there goes the mountain bike vacation." In Washington, President Clinton announced the US Government would boycott all Microsoft products indefinitely. Minutes later, the President reversed his decision. "We've tried sanctions since lunchtime, and they don't work," said the President. Instead, the administration will initiate a policy of "constructive engagement" with Microsoft. Microsoft's Chief Technology Officer Nathan Myrhvold said the test justified Microsoft's recent acquisition of the Hanford Nuclear Reservation from the US Government. Not only did Microsoft acquire "kilograms of weapons grade plutonium" in the deal, said Myrhvold, "but we've finally found a place to dump those millions of unsold copies of Microsoft Bob." Myrhvold warned users not to replace Microsoft NT products with rival operating systems. "I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of a radioisotope thermoelectric generator inside of every Pentium II microprocessor," said Myrhvold, "but anyone who installs an OS written by a bunch of long-hairs on the Internet is going to get what they deserve." The existence of an RTG in each Pentium II microprocessor would explain why the microprocessors, made by the Intel Corporation, run so hot. The Intel chips "put out more heat than they draw in electrical power" said Prof. E. E. Thymes of MIT. "This should finally dispel those stories about cold fusion." Rumors suggest a second weapons development project is underway in California, headed by Microsoft rival Sun Microsystems. "They're doing all of the development work in Java," said one source close to the project. The development of a delivery system is said to be holding up progress. "Write once, bomb anywhere is still a dream at the moment." Meanwhile, in Cupertino, California, Apple interim-CEO Steve Jobs was rumored to be in discussion with Oracle CEO Larry Ellison about deploying Apple's Newton technology against Microsoft. "Newton was the biggest bomb the Valley has developed in years," said one hardware engineer. "I'd hate to be around when they drop that product a second time." __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ | | | # # ##### ##### ## ##### # # | | # # # # # # # # # # # # | | # # ##### # # # # # # # | | # # # # ##### ###### ##### # | | # # # # # # # # # # # | | ###### # ##### # # # # # # # | | | | | | # # # # #### ###### | | # # # # # # # | | # # # # # ##### | | # # # # # # | | # # # # # # # # | | #### #### # #### ###### | | | | | | http://home.earthlink.net/~rlitwin/juice/ | | | | Items appearing in Library Juice are copyright-free, so | | feel free to share them with colleagues and friends. | | Library Juice is a free weekly publication edited by | | Rory Litwin. Original senders are credited wherever | | possible; opinions are theirs. Your comments and | | suggestions are welcome. mailto:rlitwin[at]earthlink.net | |__________________________________________________________|
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Date: Thursday, October 29, 1998 12:09 PM