Library Juice 1:20 - May 27, 1998

1. The Library Juice archive has a new home: 
2. New address for BUSLIB-L 
3. Katia Roberto's reading list for young radicals and progressives 
4. Books on Native Peoples 
5. Jurist Books on Law 
6. Book Arts Web 
7. Center for Multilingual Multicultural Research--USC CMMR [frames] 
8. Directory of Scholarly and Professional E-Conferences (listservs) 
9. Interesting Article on Buying Alta Vista Rankings 
10. Tara Calishain's guide to Internet Research 
11. New Marxism List (email discussion list, that is) 
12. GLBT bibliography from U.W. libraries 
13. New censorship attempt against Texas library 
14. News stories appearing in the May 25 American Libraries Online 
15. New issue of Ariadne is out 
16. Who is Don Saklad? 
17. Kibo has fun at Don Saklad's expense 
Quote of the week: 
"When I was in prison, I was wrapped up in all those deep books.  That 
Tolstoy crap - people shouldn't read that stuff." 
-Mike Tyson, in the San Francisco Chronicle, 12/31/96 
1.  The Library Juice archive has a new home: 
2.  New address for BUSLIB-L 
     As the Editor of BUSLIB-L, I am glad to give out the instructions for 
subscribing to the Business Librarians' email list: 
               mailto: LISTSERV[at]LISTSERV.IDBSU.EDU 
                 text: SUBSCRIBE BUSLIB-L Your Full Name 
     BUSLIB-L was forced to change its email address in February 1998 
after a computer failed ran all of the LISTSERV groups at Boise State 
University, and many sources that try to offer "lists of lists" have not 
updated our address, despite the fact that I have personally informed 
them of the changes, the day after the changeover. 
GARY KLEIN, volunteering as Editor of BUSLIB-L 
Management & Economics Librarian 
Hatfield Library / Willamette University / Salem, OR 97301 USA 
gklein[at]    work #503-370-6743 
3. Katia Roberto's reading list for young radicals and progressives: 
4. Books on Native Peoples 
Books received by the University of Pittsburg library system on Native 
Peoples, courtesy of Lisa Mitten, Social Sciences Bibliographer: 
The booklists are sent monthly to the discussionlist EQUILIBR, and since 
they are long I will only include the above URL. 
5. Jurist Books on Law 
This site, a recent addition to Professor Bernard Hibbitts' Jurist site 
(discussed in the April 11, 1997 Scout 
is a monthly publication edited by Ronald Collins and David Skover of the 
Seattle University School of Law. Highlight of the site, of course, is the 
review section, with five to ten reviewed new books (excluding casebooks 
and textbooks) per issue. There are also notices of new books in 37 subject 
categories, one review of an old book, and a list of law publishers. The 
May 1998 issue is a special issue on _Closed Chambers: The First Eyewitness 
Account of the Epic Struggles Inside the Supreme Court_, by Edward Lazarus. 
It includes a RealPlayer interview with the author (transcript available), 
in addition to six commentaries. [JS] 
[From the Internic's Scout Report: ] 
6. Book Arts Web 
Peter Verheyen, Conservation Librarian at Syracuse University, has put 
together this gateway to book arts related web sites. Information is 
available on letterpress printing, typography, hand book binding and paper 
making, rare book dealers and conservation of library materials. Included 
are home pages of individual book artists, printers, and bookbinders and 
their organizations, several listservs with searchable archives, 
specialized bibliographies and links to a variety of arts organizations. 
There is also a gallery with images of handbound books and links to online 
exhibitions and collections, including a show of miniature books at the 
University of Iowa, and the Joan Flasch Artists' Book Collection at the 
School of the Art Institute of Chicago. [DS] 
[From the Internic's Scout Report: ] 
7. Center for Multilingual Multicultural Research--USC CMMR [frames] 
Site Index 
At the heart of the University of Southern California's Center for 
Multilingual Multicultural Research site are its annotated links to 
resources in eleven topical categories, including paraeducator resources, 
bilingual and multicultural resources, and technology in education 
resources. In addition, there are annotated links to African-American, 
Latino/Hispanic American, Asian-American, and Native American resources, as 
well as full text articles in the topic. For those who prefer a non-frames 
based organization, the site index provides a quick and easy guide to 
content. [JS] 
[From the Internic's Scout Report: ] 
8. Directory of Scholarly and Professional E-Conferences (listservs) 
I find it somehow more satisfying than either or for discovering email discussion lists in your area of 
interest.  Definitely worth comparing. 
9. Interesting Article on Buying Alta Vista Rankings 
Elizabth Gardner, 5/18, 
"Deal Allows Companies To Buy Top Spot in Search Results", 
Internet World 
(sent to Web4Lib by Steve Mitchell) 
10. Tara Calishain's guide to Internet Research 
Dear Web 4 Lib folks, 
I wanted to let you know about a resource I've put 
together for Internet research. 
I'm the author of _Official Netscape Guide to Internet 
Research_, and I've put together an info-site about the 
book. It's at . 
Please don't misunderstand, though -- the book is not 
necessary to make use of the site, nor do you have to 
use Netscape Communicator. 
The site includes articles, quick tips, resource lists, and 
news. The news is updated as often as there's stuff to 
talk about -- usually every business day.  Today's news 
was about the Real Name plug-in and the sixteen 
newspapers LEXIS-NEXIS EUROPE added to their 
I am always looking for article ideas and topics that 
researchers would like to see in resource lists. 
Thanks very much, 
Tara Calishain                  calumet[at] 
_Official Netscape Guide to Internet Research_ 
(sent to Web4Lib: ) 
11. New Marxism List (email discussion list, that is) 
The primary purpose of the list is to gather together Marxists 
internationally who are dedicated to a non-dogmatic approach to issues of 
the class struggle today. Marxism has always been confronted with the 
problem of avoiding stale formulas handed down from previous generations. 
This new list is consciously designed to cut across that tendency. We will 
challenge ourselves on a daily basis to understand social reality without 
preconceptions. As Marx himself once said, he was no "Marxist." This 
remains our challenge. Despite the name of the mailing list, we must resist 
the temptation to turn the powerful method of Marx into some sort of 
revealed truth. Fortunately, we have examples of creative Marxism to draw 
upon: Antonio Gramsci's Prison Notebooks, Jose Carlos Mariategui's journal 
"Amauta" and the essays of C.L.R. James. The wide range of interests of 
these Marxist thinkers, and their fresh approach to social reality, must 
inspire us. Everything came within their purview, from economics to popular 
culture to psychology to religion. Underpinning their investigations was an 
intense desire to change society, which is after all the primary purpose of 
the Marxist movement. 
 HOW TO JOIN Send email to majordomo[at] with the message 
"sub*scribe marxism." (Eliminate the asterisk in your message.) Please 
circulate this announcement far and wide to progressive mailing-lists and 
Louis Proyect lnp3[at] 
Sent to AgitProp News, put out by the Labor Art and Mural Project 
12. GLBT bibliography from U.W. libraries 
This is a bibliography of the cataloged GLBT holdings in the University of 
Washington Libraries as of Sept 1997. (There will be a major update this 
coming Sept of titles recd and catd during the past year) 
caveat(s): a very extensive file (about 400 pages if printed), consequently: 
1) it takes about 25 seconds (locally) to load and may take longer 
2) for many (most?) the links (and find/search) beyond the earliest ones 
will not work unless your browser is in your harddrive and your harddrive 
has large capacity. (i.e., I have netscape 3 on my desktop and can only 
link or use find/search up to about J; but I have netscape 4 in my 
harddrive and all the links work & the find/search can explore the whole 
However, everyone should be able to browse the whole document by use of 
the side bar. 
I realize the size of the document will limit its potential usefulness for 
some...and I'm considering breaking it up into several documents...which 
will, of course, significantly increase the loading speed, but mean that 
find/search would have to be done letter by letter...if anyone out there 
can figure a way for me to have my cake and eat it too (my life-long 
goal), let me know. 
no restrictions on use/printing/downloading, etc.... 
(I thought, for example, it might be useful to private collections...those 
that do not have the resources to connect to OCLC, MARC, etc. for 
Alvin Fritz 
Gay and Lesbian Studies Coordinator 
The University of Washington Libraries 
(sent to the GAY-LIBN list) 
13. New censorship attempt against Texas library 
Our friends the RRR are at it again: A pastor in Wichita Falls, TX has 
stolen _Daddy's Roommate_ and _Heather Has Two Mommies_ from the library 
Read the whole story, including letters to the editor, at: 
(sent to the GAY-LIBN list) 
14. News stories appearing in the May 25 American Libraries Online 
* Consumer Groups Urge Halt to Universal-Service Collections 
* House Passes Database Collection Legislation 
* Kane Sues for Wrongful Termination 
* Stalemate Stalls Longer LAPL Hours 
* LC Contracts with Endeavor to Integrate Its Operations 
* Seattle PL Gets Operating Fund Increase 
* School Board Bans "Controversial" Web Sites 
* Library's Listing as Sex Site Spurs Predator Bill 
* Daddy's Roommate/Heather Flap Erupts in Texas 
* Robert Wedgeworth Announces Resignation from University of Illinois 
* Four Hammond, Indiana, Branches to Close 
* Nigerian Librarian Arrested in Civil Liberties Crackdown 
* Who'll Foot the Bill for the Loudoun County Lawsuit? 
* Caribbean Librarians Gather for Decennial Miami Meeting 
* Stolen 16th-Century Miniatures Returned to German Library 
American Libraries' Web site also features the latest "Internet Librarian" 
columns by Karen Schneider; AL's "Career Leads" job ads; listings of 
conferences, continuing-education courses, exhibitions, and other 
events from AL's "Datebook"; and Tables of Contents for the current 
(originally sent to ALA's member-forum list) 
15. New issue of Ariadne is out 
**Issue 15 of Ariadne is now Available in both print and web versions. 
Web version available at 
**In this issue: 
At the Event: John MacColl in his report on the UCISA conference (both 
versions) illustrates the changing priorities in resource 
allocation during the past few years. 
View from the Hill: this month featuring an interview with Anne Mumford, 
head of JISC ASSIST, who sets out the organization's priorities. 
Minotaur: Gordon Brewer re-examines the "convergence of services" issue. 
ROUTES: Una O'Sullivan reports on the Open University project on the 
selection and exploitation of electronic resources. 
Interface: features an interview with Derek Law, Director of Information 
Services and Systems at King's College London. 
The Cover Feature: Liz Lyon describes the  PATRON eLib (UK) project which 
assists teaching and learning in the arts. 
The Access Catalogue: Gateway to Resources: Terry Hanson describes 
the access catalogue as an aid to the integrated exploitation of all forms 
of electronic information. 
A National Co-ordinating Body for Digital Archiving?: David Haynes 
discusses the preservation of electronic documents, and the 
policies necessary to create electronic archival 
services of value. 
Public Libraries Corner: Sarah Ormes reports on the American Public 
Library Association conference in Kansas City, Missouri. 
**This issue of Ariadne features the reappearance of "Get Tooled Up" - a 
section focussing on technical matters. 
Showing the Door to Robots: Ian Peacock's article on the Robot Exclusion 
Protocol explains the importance of, and how to write, the 
simple files which help prevent web robots from 
trampling all over your server - provided of course that they 
have been given some elementary house training before 
being let loose.  The article also features a link to a 
neat and fully operational parsing tool for exclusion files. 
Brian Kelly has contributed an explanation of XML in the What Is...? 
column, currently living in the same section. Brian has also 
contributed an account of the key issues which were 
discussed at the WWW7 conference in Brisbane in his Web Focus Column. 
RDF, which was a major issue in Brisbane, surfaces again in Ariadne's 
pages in an At the Event report by Matthew Dovey on a UKOLN hosted 
half-day seminar held in Bristol (UK) on the 8th of May. 
Other regular columns include: 
Search Engines Corner: Tracy Stanley tries out the Northern Light 
search engine. This service is innovative in a number of respects, and not 
least because it is attempting to fund its operation through the 
supply of documents from an archive, rather than banner advertising. 
Planet SOSIG: Lesly Huxley reports on a new satellite orbiting Planet 
SOSIG, which those in the UK social sciences field will find of 
particular interest. 
In addition three UK eLib project reports are covered, (including project 
PATRON), the return of the caption competion, etc., etc. 
**Those wishing to contribute to Ariadne should note that Isobel Stark has 
left Ariadne and has taken up a position as a subject librarian 
in the Library of the University of Bath. All mail 
and contributions for Ariadne should be sent to: 
Philip Hunter, 
Information Officer and Co-Editor of the Web version of 
Ariadne, UKOLN, 
c/o Library, University of Bath, Bath, BA2 7AY 
Tel: +44 (0) 1225 826 354           Fax: +44 (0) 1225 826838 
email: p.j.hunter[at]       Url: 
16. Who is Don Saklad? 
Don Saklad is a familiar name to members of ALA's intellectual freedom 
listservs or readers of the newsgroup  Maybe this 
common question rings a bell: "Have you tried to get your Urban Public 
Libraries Long Range Planning Reports lately?"  I realize now that his 
writing style is inimitable and very distinctive.  It is also frequently 
incomprehensible.  Recently on there was a small orgy of 
vitriol against Don Saklad from people who find his messages annoying. 
He can be very annoying, but I tend to find his messages a pleasing note of 
consistency in the noisy cyberworld.  Don Saklad has made himself a 
character in libraryland, even if no-one takes him seriously.  He appears 
to be a classic crank.  The following message is more comprehensible than 
usual, but as usual is more suggestive than substantive: 
> As a case example of what goes on in some other states, 
> for Massachusetts anyone can request public records of 
> their urban municipal public library that would 
> disclose supervisory and official inside censoring. 
> When you followup to get a validly public information 
> disclosed it calls attention to the censors inside the 
> lib who delay or deny access to things like library 
> board minutes, agendas, committee transactions, 
> administrative notices, policies, procedures, public 
> files of public library agencies, public correspondence 
> of officials, etc.  Few have done followup or even 
> asked for public information shying away from the 
> retailiatory types of authoritarian library supervisors, 
> library officials and other colleagues. 
> As a case example of what goes on in some other urban 
> municipal public libraries, city of Boston Public 
> Library departments' supervisors and officials have 
> stonewalled library labor relations union collective 
> bargaining advocates and other library advocates in a 
> posture of dedication to some imaginary higher 
> principle knowing what is best for our communities 
> but keeping community participation in library long 
> range planning limited.  Potential participants have 
> been kept at arms reach from the library long range 
> planning process. 
Some time ago, I began to wonder if maybe I shouldn't try to take him 
seriously.  I tried, and found that his messages simply didn't make enough 
sense.  They seldom provide enough information for the reader to make any 
sort of a judgement. 
In the course of the flame fest on the newsgroup I mentioned, Saklad sent 
the following, which I consider to be an exception to the rule, and is 
actually fairly thought provoking: 
> Subject: Library and information studies programs' reference services 
> courses and related course studies 
> You get a question about how bombs are built or poisons 
> made. How would different library and information 
> studies programs' reference services courses and 
> related course studies have prepared urban municipal 
> public librarians to respond?: 
> a. Lean over to an associate and comment. 
> b. Get on the horn and call an alert. 
> c. Reach for a chemistry text. 
> d. Reach for an encyclopedia. 
> e. Raise your voice so content of the verbal transaction 
>    can be overheard more easily in the reading room. 
> f. Demand "Why do you want to know?" inflected as a challenge. 
> g. Challenge with "You always ask questions like that." 
> h. Respond as if unprepared, never having conceived 
> someone would ask. 
> i. Find out more about the person as if challenging the 
> question they ask. 
> j. Do something analogous to those drivers who 
> frustrated by the traffic take their hands off the 
> steering wheel, raise them into the air and shake their 
> head even while their car is moving. 
> k. .... ? 
> How would different library and information 
> studies programs' reference services courses and 
> related course studies have prepared urban municipal 
> public librarians to respond? 
I find it fascinating that this person, who has an MIT based email address, 
takes such an interest in his Urban Public Library (Boston Public). 
Judging from the content of most of his postings, he probably faces 
significant difficulties in life.  His library is probably so important to 
him because it is a refuge. 
It gives me a pang of guilt to write speculatively about a person who is 
likely to read what I am writing.  I have made an attempt to find out more 
about Mr. Saklad's story, however; particularly regarding his experiences 
at BPL that he only alludes to in his sometimes cryptic messages.  Rather 
than telling about his own experiences, he gives instructions to readers - 
though we are bound to face the same obstacles, due to a conspiracy among 
library managers to withhold information central to the secret new world 
And yet, he does talk of resorting to his state's Open Sunshine laws to 
gain access to some documents.  It is at least enough to make a person 
With that said, I would like to pass on some of the recent discussion about 
Don Saklad on 
> From: sueanninfl[at] (SueAnninFL) 
> Recently the local news here did an investigation which showed state 
>>employees using their state owned computers at work to be using them for 
>>non-state work purposes.  Such as one state employee was using it to see 
>>copies of his porn videos.  Believe it or not - this sucker wasn't even 
> With an address like [at] - doesn't it seem as though 
>this >person would work at an educational institution or at least posts 
>from a >university server?  I wonder what his employer (if he is so 
>employed) is >aware of his non-work activities? 
> Does anyone know how to find out more info about this individual via his 
>>email address? 
(Addressed to Saklad and posted anonymously) 
> As a librarian who has worked in both urban and suburban libraries for 
> years, I have been following your comments. You seem to have many 
> complaints. 
> Librarianship has become much more complicated than it used to be. Merely 
> teaching someone to use a computer or an index requires more than a few 
> minutes time. If someone is waiting on line just to get a copy of an 
> almanac, it can be extremely frustrating to have to wait. 
> Your problem is not really with service. Most librarians are in their field 
> because they derive great satisfaction from helping people get the 
> information they need. However, because of the time it takes to show 
> library  users how to find things, we need MORE librarians - not less. 
>Are > you willing to pay for more librarians to get quicker service? 
> Librarians are merely people who respond to compliments, thank-you's and 
> other courtesies. Try that instead of constantly complaining. The 
> complaints won't help but lobbying for money to hire more librarians WILL 
> result in better service. Try cultivating a positive attitude. You 
> obviously have been a library user for years. Can you name even three 
> incidents in which you were completely satisfied with the service you 
> received? If not, I suggest that you rethink your attitude - you get 
> further with honey than vinegar! 
> From: "Jeffrey D Swope" <JDSWOPE[at]> 
> Greetings: 
> Before I get attacked by a raging mob, I am not here to defend what Don 
> Saklad has to say (most of the time I'm not sure I even understand what 
> he's attempting to express).  However, I would like to pose this question 
> to the masses:  Are we as a whole not better for having individuals like 
> Don Saklad around?  I believe that we are.  Let me briefly explain why. 
> Don Saklad keeps us focused on real issues by presenting vague and 
> hypothetical questions, situations, and concerns.  It is through our 
> ability to discern the difference between practical, real life problems, 
> concerns and issues and his pseudo-intellectual, passively academic 
> ponderings that we gain a perspective on what is important.  If this sounds 
> like a wordy and ambiguous diatribe, rest assured it is not.  I am simply 
> trying to state my belief that the comments made by Don Saklad, though 
> numerous and often frustrating and annoying are a vital part of the 
> "conversation" in librarianship.  It is through his (and others like him) 
> that we come to understand the difference between the theoretic and the 
> practical approaches to common issues.  I often wonder what world Don 
> Saklad lives in (obviously in or around Boston). I often wonder what his 
> experience and credentials are.  I often wonder if he is as outspoken in 
> person (where he must face others openly) as he seems to be here.  I often 
> wonder if we would tell him to his face what we speak of him here.  I don't 
> defend his thoughts, but he is as much a necessity in any honest forum as 
> anyone else.  As in any other aspect of a free society. I can choose not to 
> read him any time I desire. 
17. Kibo has fun at Don Saklad's expense 
Now, some evil Don Saklad satire from humorist James "Kibo" Parry, enemy of 
Saklad on as well as on his "own" newsgroup, 
Don, if you're reading this, don't be too offended. 
From: kibo[at] (James "Kibo" Parry) 
In, Don Saklad (dsaklad[at] wrote: 
 10. Telephone several times ahead of each visit to confirm 
 information about any collections and resources that you many 
 use and to confirm initial responses because response about 
 BPL collections and services may vary.  9. Obtain a directory 
 of BPL curatorial people from the lib itself or from city 
 hall.  8. Post your own hints, tips and pointers to the 
 net for others.  [...] 
Gee, #10 makes it clear just why the BosPubLib loves you as much as they do. 
Are you that guy with the fatigues and the military school cap and the 
who takes notes on Green Line train arrivals at Park Street all day? 
Or the guy who keeps riding his giant tricycle around the Boston Public 
Library who screams at the top of his lungs constantly?  Do you hang around 
Harvard Square with a sandwich-board sign containing over five thousand 
WORDS-CONNECTED-WITH-HYPHENS-?!!!!  Haven't I seen you in Micro Center with 
a video camera glued to your helmet?  What's the deal with the rubber dress 
with the lollipops? 
I disagree with #8, though.  You should only post your hints, tips, and 
pointers to the net for *yourself*. 
And now, Ladies and gentlemen and librarians alike, I do believe the BPL 
has given me a secretly coded message demanding a repeat of a command 
performance from December 1997! 
/// re-run /// re-run /// re-run /// re-run /// re-run /// re-run /// 
re-run /// 
                     D O N    S A K L A D ' S    D A Y 
        Don Saklad's life is Copyright (C) 1997 James "Kibo" Parry. 
    Do not live Don Saklad's life without written permission from Kibo. 
4:00am  -- wake up 
4:01am  -- call Boston Public Library to ask when they open 
4:02am  -- write down that at 4:01am they said 9:00am and that this note 
           was made at 4:02am 
4:03am  -- leave for Boston Public Library 
4:04am  -- count the number of cracks in the sidewalk on the way 
4:05am  -- after stepping on a crack by accident, go back and start over 
4:06am  -- write down the license number of the bad boys who yelled swear 
4:19am  -- arrive at BPL 
4:20am  -- check the back door to see if it's also locked 
4:21am  -- wait patiently by the front door for them to open 
4:22am  -- buy coffee at the Dunkin' Donuts across the street 
4:23am  -- use their bathroom 
4:24am  -- try the library doors again 
4:25am  -- check the library dumpster for discarded evidence of the cover-up 
4:26am  -- use the Dunkin' Donuts bathroom again 
4:27am  -- try to get into the library through the book return slot.  Fail. 
4:28am  -- wait impatiently by the front door 
4:29am  -- begin tapping foot exactly 1,666 times, no less, no more 
4:48am  -- use the Dunkin' Donuts bathroom again 
5:14am  -- finish tapping foot.  Make a note of it. 
5:15am  -- start tapping foot another 1,666 times to do a re-count for 
5:29am  -- altercation with homeless man who does not seem to CARE about 
5:32am  -- resume waiting patiently by the front door 
5:33am  -- check the back door again 
5:51am  -- use the Dunkin' Donuts bathroom again 
5:55am  -- fall asleep in Dunkin' Donuts. 
10:20am -- wake up at the exact same time LINCOLN WAS SHOT! 
10:21am -- run across the street to the library. 
10:22am -- go back and cross the street after looking both ways like the 
           policeman said to. 
10:23am -- enter the library.  Ask a security guard what happened between 
           5:55am and 10:23am. 
10:24am -- When they say they don't know, write their badge number down. 
           Ask the name of their supervisor. 
10:25am -- Write down "Jack Sprat" like they said. 
10:26am -- use the BPL men's room. 
10:27am -- count all the books in the BPL. 
2:18pm  -- count all the entries in the card catalog. 
4:42pm  -- okay, so they have the same number.  But perhaps DIFFERENT books 
           have been censored from each!  Spread card catalog out on floor 
           to compare. 
4:43pm  -- Hide from library guards in BPL men's room.  Also use men's room. 
4:47pm  -- begin counting the number of bricks in the BPL. 
4:48pm  -- start over when distracted by the nutty person down the aisle 
           who is counting the number of light bulbs in the BPL. 
5:02pm  -- break for dinner in the cookbook section. 
5:23pm  -- realize that no library personnel have bothered you for almost 
           an hour.  Start showing your library card to all of them, saying, 
           "I HAVE THE CARD, SO I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE HERE" until someone 
           disagrees with you. 
5:24pm  -- make a scene. 
5:25pm  -- use the BPL men's room again. 
5:28pm  -- check the paper supply in all library Xerox machines.  Try to get 
           dimes out by putting chewing gum on a piece of fishing line.  Fail. 
5:32pm  -- try to get gum out of hair.  Start shouting "STOP STARING AT ME!!! 
           I HAVE A LIBRARY CARD!!!" 
5:37pm  -- make a joke about the BPL having VPL.  Fail to explain joke 
           because saying "VPL" makes you all giggly. 
5:41pm  -- discover some weenie has locked the bathroom door.  Run across 
           street to Dunkin' Donuts.  Injure bladder trying to go through 
           BPL turnstile the wrong way. 
5:44pm  -- upon returning, discover the BPL has closed and moved to a secret 
           location to prevent you from discovering THE SHOCKING TRUTH OF 
5:45pm  -- go to a trendy cybercafe to surf the Internet. 
5:46pm  -- discover that you've been called "a few fries short of a Happy 
           on a mailing list.  Proudly repost it to alt.religion.kibology, 
           where everyone deeply cares that your public library fetish was 
5:57pm  -- go home to watch "Who's The Boss?" and try to solve the mystery 
           of who the boss is. 
5:58pm  -- fall asleep with library card clutched in right hand.  It falls 
           out of the hand and lands in the cat's dish.  The cat eats it. 
                                        -- K. 
                                        I realize that no GOOD library 
                                        uses the Dewey Decimal System, but 
                                        the LOC code wouldn't work there: 
                                        The Dewey Decimal System is WACKY. 
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| Library Juice is a free weekly publication edited by     | 
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Date: Thursday, October 29, 1998 12:09 PM